Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Soap of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine odours to the four winds, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the pizza and chips and meat pies and Allen's snakes and assorted beverages and garlic bread ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou removest thy clothing. Then thou must roll for dex. Dex shall be the stat of the rolling and the stat of the rolling shall be dex. Strength shalt thou not roll, neither shalt thou roll con, excepting that thou then proceedeth to dex. Charisma is right out. Once the stat dex, being the stat of the rolling, be determined, then appliest thou the Holy Hand Soap in the presence of thine B.O., who, being naughty in my scent, shall snuff it."